I just had an epiphany.
Tonight I realized I could never live on a farm.
Erin and I decided to make fresh tomato soup with the Magic Bullet blender I bought her for her b-day last month. The recipe called for one tomato, one garlic clove, milk and chicken broth. Because I don't mix meat and dairy products ("Jewish suburban cowboy here), I used veggie broth. After blending no longer than 10 seconds (cuz that's what the Magic Bullet guaran-damn-tees), all-natural tomato soup was ready to eat.
It tasted like ass! It needed sugar! Hell, it could've been the veggie broth that fucked everything up. But Y'all, all I know is God made preservatives and artificial sweeteners for a reason!
The soup was TOO tomatoee. I also left in the seeds and pieces of the rind. Erin had pieces of garlic skin in her soup.
We dumped the shit down the garbage disposal and went to Applebee's.
So the only natural tomato soup I am going to eat from now on will come from the Campbell's farm where I'll pick a can off one of its trees or vine or wherever the hell tomatoes grow.
-Nate
p.s. my first bylined story hits the doorstep tomorrow! Check it out. It could affect you... actually no it won't unless you're a member of THE Tonganoxie Public Library.
Erin and I decided to make fresh tomato soup with the Magic Bullet blender I bought her for her b-day last month. The recipe called for one tomato, one garlic clove, milk and chicken broth. Because I don't mix meat and dairy products ("Jewish suburban cowboy here), I used veggie broth. After blending no longer than 10 seconds (cuz that's what the Magic Bullet guaran-damn-tees), all-natural tomato soup was ready to eat.
It tasted like ass! It needed sugar! Hell, it could've been the veggie broth that fucked everything up. But Y'all, all I know is God made preservatives and artificial sweeteners for a reason!
The soup was TOO tomatoee. I also left in the seeds and pieces of the rind. Erin had pieces of garlic skin in her soup.
We dumped the shit down the garbage disposal and went to Applebee's.
So the only natural tomato soup I am going to eat from now on will come from the Campbell's farm where I'll pick a can off one of its trees or vine or wherever the hell tomatoes grow.
-Nate
p.s. my first bylined story hits the doorstep tomorrow! Check it out. It could affect you... actually no it won't unless you're a member of THE Tonganoxie Public Library.
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 6:28 PM
4 Comments:
damn you for making fun of my ephipanies. — aks
p.s. have you tried making delicious chicken quesadillas in only seconds?
p.s. tomatoes grow on vines and, baby, you couldn't last one day on a farm — even with your sweet accent and cowboy boots. erin'll back me up on that shit. — aks
Not to rain on your Bullet parade, but my roommate got one of those for Christmas, and I'd never seen him so excited. That lasted about two months. Now he realizes the inequities of the sacred Magic Bullet and curses it daily. So maybe it wasn't the tomatoes. Now I'm going out to the mean streets of Philly at midnight to take out my trash. Let's hope you hear from me again.
-Neeley
Nate-
Buddy. If you just realized you couldn't make it on a farm, you've been in denial for a long time. Hell, you lived in FORT WORTH for a time. I know it's bass-ackwards, but it's still a big city. The only people who can live on a farm are those who have lived on a farm in their formative years. The rest of us are destined to buy the food they grow in cans and frozen from our groccery stores for the rest of our lives.
JK
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