Listen to "Alcohol" by Brad Paisley while reading. Or don't. You're an adult.
Sorry to hog the blog, but I did have one more thing I wanted to share. I have an annoying little site where I post the letters and e-mail my family sends me. They are spectacularly odd, but the latest from my grandma must be shared with my pals. I'm going to post it in its entirety so you can know why I feel the need to wear dark sunglasses and scowl.
May 29, 2005
Dearest Amanda,
Congratulations on completing your 5 years at KU. I know you will put your gleaned knowledge to the best of uses. Know nothing can stand in your way unless you let it. You are in full control of your body, mind and limits. Keep God in your life. You can find many obstacles in your way. You have already encountered some of them and the evils of alcohol is one of them. I had always hoped you would not fall prey to it but I see some signs it has.
Enclosed is $5 for you to get some tomato plants and flower plants or whatever you want to put out.
Have you been getting more graduation money? Hope so
Take care
Love you,
Tah & Mimi
(over)
Let me know how much 8X10 graduation picture is also some wallet sizes.
Yeah, so all those times where it feels like she's taking pot shots at my college career, she is. Five years? Gleaned? She is a deliberate woman. Evils of alcohol? Falling prey? Signs? Good lord. Does she know she's addressing the Jager Queen?
Goin' down drinkin',
AKS
P.S. I bought booze with the $5. Seriously.
May 29, 2005
Dearest Amanda,
Congratulations on completing your 5 years at KU. I know you will put your gleaned knowledge to the best of uses. Know nothing can stand in your way unless you let it. You are in full control of your body, mind and limits. Keep God in your life. You can find many obstacles in your way. You have already encountered some of them and the evils of alcohol is one of them. I had always hoped you would not fall prey to it but I see some signs it has.
Enclosed is $5 for you to get some tomato plants and flower plants or whatever you want to put out.
Have you been getting more graduation money? Hope so
Take care
Love you,
Tah & Mimi
(over)
Let me know how much 8X10 graduation picture is also some wallet sizes.
Yeah, so all those times where it feels like she's taking pot shots at my college career, she is. Five years? Gleaned? She is a deliberate woman. Evils of alcohol? Falling prey? Signs? Good lord. Does she know she's addressing the Jager Queen?
Goin' down drinkin',
AKS
P.S. I bought booze with the $5. Seriously.
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 12:38 AM
5 Comments:
The first thing I thought when I saw the "evils of alcohol" followed by the $5 donation is you better buy some adult beverages with it. But I was pleased to see that you did. What I also hope you did was buy two 40 oz. bottles of cold, cold malt liquor and get a photo of you taking a big swig of it, send it back to them and thank them for the cash.
Thanks Steve.
AKS/Betty Ford
That letter is spectacular -- like she ate a dozen fortune cookies to fill the portent of the letter, got sick and then started writing as they all flowed out. Or something like that.
But your grandma sounds sooo sweet.
Following protocol, the previous comment was by HCJ3.
Cheers.
Frankly speaking, I'm surprised you didn't use the $5 for a down payment on a shotgun to go cap her ass with...but the alcohol was sweet poetic revenge...
-Ty
Post a Comment
<< Home