Neeley took my blog virginity
I kept calling Neeley with amusing anecdotes from my road trip to Florida, and she said I should post them to the blog. I dunno if she was serious or if she was just tired of me bothering her, but here are the two white-trashiest moments of my life, both within 48 hours of one another:
INCIDENT 1: Trailers and White Zin
I was camping in a beachside trailer park on Siesta Key island with my pal Becca Evanhoe, when the rain blew in off the Gulf. After discovering the leaks at the top of her tent, we took shelter in the front of her Taurus. Bored, we drove to the closest convenience store (7-11) and stocked up on junk food and a bottle of wine (yes, 7-11 sells wine down here). We proceeded to open the bottle with a pocketknife (kind of ... half the cork had to be pushed in) and drink the wine in the pouring rain. Oh, and what better to go with $6 White Zinfandel than a half dozen chocolate donuts?
INCIDENT 2: Cigarette holes in the blankets, spooge stains on the wall
I was on my way to Pensacola, driving West along the panhandle, when it started to pour. My friends and I decided to stop and check in to the Holiday Inn Express. The only room left was the honeymoon sweet, from which I am writing you all. The bed is round, with red Christmas lights. There is a mirror directly above the bed, nails sticking out of the carpet and shit in the toilet (not ours). The jacuzzi is the room's only redeeming quality, but I'm afraid to enter for fear of catching the crotch rot.
I did interview for a job today in Bradenton. If I end up working on the Gulf coast, you're all (except AKS, of course) welcome to sleep on my floor whenever you have a jonesin' for some beachin' :^)
-Bill "living the dream" Cross
INCIDENT 1: Trailers and White Zin
I was camping in a beachside trailer park on Siesta Key island with my pal Becca Evanhoe, when the rain blew in off the Gulf. After discovering the leaks at the top of her tent, we took shelter in the front of her Taurus. Bored, we drove to the closest convenience store (7-11) and stocked up on junk food and a bottle of wine (yes, 7-11 sells wine down here). We proceeded to open the bottle with a pocketknife (kind of ... half the cork had to be pushed in) and drink the wine in the pouring rain. Oh, and what better to go with $6 White Zinfandel than a half dozen chocolate donuts?
INCIDENT 2: Cigarette holes in the blankets, spooge stains on the wall
I was on my way to Pensacola, driving West along the panhandle, when it started to pour. My friends and I decided to stop and check in to the Holiday Inn Express. The only room left was the honeymoon sweet, from which I am writing you all. The bed is round, with red Christmas lights. There is a mirror directly above the bed, nails sticking out of the carpet and shit in the toilet (not ours). The jacuzzi is the room's only redeeming quality, but I'm afraid to enter for fear of catching the crotch rot.
I did interview for a job today in Bradenton. If I end up working on the Gulf coast, you're all (except AKS, of course) welcome to sleep on my floor whenever you have a jonesin' for some beachin' :^)
-Bill "living the dream" Cross
1 Comments:
haha, sounds like you're havin a grand ol time down there in the gulf! You should get out of Florida and drive a few hours to Mobile, Ala. It's a sleepy town right now, but that's where Mardi Gras began so you know them folks know how to party down there in the dirty dirty! Enjoy the rest of your trip. -Nate
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