When humanity sucks
Today was the last day in the Stanley court martial. I really hope that you read some of the AP coverage. This trial has really affected me mentally and physically. It's incredibly depressing sitting there and witnessing what can happen to people when they've really hit a low point.
Despite the sadness, it is thrilling to get to cover something like this so soon after starting. It is a kind of morbid thrill really. I mean, I've been covering it since Monday and there are times when you're sitting in there, surrounded by people who really should be there — friends and family of the accused, friends and family of the victims, soldiers who served with these guys — and you're just some asshole journalist, scribbling down every little detail and anything quotable. You're in that, "This is gonna be a sweet clip" mode and you forget the seriousness and impact of what's going on around you. You are the least necessary person there. Really. And it's hard not to want to console every person.
There are times I would make eye contact with people and share this mutual moment before we both realize what's going on. I started this trial all uppity about my role there, but came to realize that I can do my job and still feel like a person. You can still sympathize with the victims' families, treat the accused like a person when he makes eye contact with you and gives a forced smile, joke around with the MPs at the metal detector and be shocked when the verdict and sentence are read aloud.
So this is definitely turning into a long, babbling mess about how this trial has engulfed me. The reporter who covered it when it first happened in Sept. 2004 said it still affects her. I've never covered something that's had such scope, and I have been thinking about it a lot. She and I are planning on doing some amazing in-depth pieces in September.
I've spent about 70 hours from Monday to Saturday covering this thing. A majority of my time was in the courtroom, filling two notebooks with notes. The rest was spent speeding to JC during the 45 minute lunch breaks to file the story and rush back before court is reconvened.
It's really unhealthy to go home after spending that much time immersed in that and just stew in everything you saw and heard that day. It's expected that your boyfriend be freaked out when you say, "Just promise me you'll never kill me" as soon as you start talking. It's not expected that, when you're depressed about seeing and hearing some truly sad things, he tells you the most wonderful things you've ever heard. But it's nice.
If you have time, check out the Daily U's Web site tomorrow. Hopefully, my last article about the sentencing will be up. I only included small snippets of the drama that went on. I'm saving the rest for my project.
Thanks for reading my rant. The first version of this was much more eloquent. Then my computer shut down. Fucking computer.
AKS
Despite the sadness, it is thrilling to get to cover something like this so soon after starting. It is a kind of morbid thrill really. I mean, I've been covering it since Monday and there are times when you're sitting in there, surrounded by people who really should be there — friends and family of the accused, friends and family of the victims, soldiers who served with these guys — and you're just some asshole journalist, scribbling down every little detail and anything quotable. You're in that, "This is gonna be a sweet clip" mode and you forget the seriousness and impact of what's going on around you. You are the least necessary person there. Really. And it's hard not to want to console every person.
There are times I would make eye contact with people and share this mutual moment before we both realize what's going on. I started this trial all uppity about my role there, but came to realize that I can do my job and still feel like a person. You can still sympathize with the victims' families, treat the accused like a person when he makes eye contact with you and gives a forced smile, joke around with the MPs at the metal detector and be shocked when the verdict and sentence are read aloud.
So this is definitely turning into a long, babbling mess about how this trial has engulfed me. The reporter who covered it when it first happened in Sept. 2004 said it still affects her. I've never covered something that's had such scope, and I have been thinking about it a lot. She and I are planning on doing some amazing in-depth pieces in September.
I've spent about 70 hours from Monday to Saturday covering this thing. A majority of my time was in the courtroom, filling two notebooks with notes. The rest was spent speeding to JC during the 45 minute lunch breaks to file the story and rush back before court is reconvened.
It's really unhealthy to go home after spending that much time immersed in that and just stew in everything you saw and heard that day. It's expected that your boyfriend be freaked out when you say, "Just promise me you'll never kill me" as soon as you start talking. It's not expected that, when you're depressed about seeing and hearing some truly sad things, he tells you the most wonderful things you've ever heard. But it's nice.
If you have time, check out the Daily U's Web site tomorrow. Hopefully, my last article about the sentencing will be up. I only included small snippets of the drama that went on. I'm saving the rest for my project.
Thanks for reading my rant. The first version of this was much more eloquent. Then my computer shut down. Fucking computer.
AKS
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 8:37 PM
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