Best week EVER (without beer, women or a playstation)
So Quetico Provincial Park was awesome. Great weather, amazingly vivid night sky, water that was clear enough to see through for 20 feet and still enough to reflect the trees. It was basically the most pristine nature you could ever hope to see. And I pooped on it. Eight times.
Sorry. But not really sorry, or I would have deleted it before posting.
ANYWAY, as for the questions that needed to be answered on this trip:
1) Yes, I made it the whole way, despite the second day, which included five portages. The first three were cake, but the fourth was uber-steep and the fifth, which was longer than a mile, was mostly mud up to my knees. No fun with a canoe on your shoulders and 70 pounds of crap on your back. The trail was pretty easy from there, though.
2) The insects sucked (no pun intended), but the mosquitoes weren't abnormally large. They were very abnormal in number, especially on the mud portage, but we learned to co-exist. The horseflies, however, bit much harder and thus are still on my bad list.
3 & 4) No huge insects, as noted above.
5 & 6) Inexplicably, nothing was attracted to my loins for the whole nine days, not even bears.
7) No, I cannot live on fish and noodles for a week. Which is why we had lots of oatmeal and dried peppers to liven things up. Still, the philly cheesesteak I had after we got off the trail was a nice treat.
8) I did not consume human flesh.
The drive to Ontario sucked, even after we reached the north woods. Spruce trees are only exciting for so long. Once, I thought I saw an Aspen tree and got really excited, but as we got closer it turned out to be another Spruce tree. Major foliage blueball.
There were a lot of highlights of the trip, which I'm going to write about in a more serious manner for my troop's Web site. I won't bore you with them here. Instead, I'll conclude with some O'Toolian jokes that came up on the trail.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Don't put used (fire)wood in the bush.
I wouldn't eat (the berries) on that bush.
Dude, you need to work on your J-Stroke.
Extend your pole, damn it.
Watch it! You almost hit me in the chin with your (hook and) rod!
Let me see your rod.
Ahhhh it's good to be home.
-BC
Sorry. But not really sorry, or I would have deleted it before posting.
ANYWAY, as for the questions that needed to be answered on this trip:
1) Yes, I made it the whole way, despite the second day, which included five portages. The first three were cake, but the fourth was uber-steep and the fifth, which was longer than a mile, was mostly mud up to my knees. No fun with a canoe on your shoulders and 70 pounds of crap on your back. The trail was pretty easy from there, though.
2) The insects sucked (no pun intended), but the mosquitoes weren't abnormally large. They were very abnormal in number, especially on the mud portage, but we learned to co-exist. The horseflies, however, bit much harder and thus are still on my bad list.
3 & 4) No huge insects, as noted above.
5 & 6) Inexplicably, nothing was attracted to my loins for the whole nine days, not even bears.
7) No, I cannot live on fish and noodles for a week. Which is why we had lots of oatmeal and dried peppers to liven things up. Still, the philly cheesesteak I had after we got off the trail was a nice treat.
8) I did not consume human flesh.
The drive to Ontario sucked, even after we reached the north woods. Spruce trees are only exciting for so long. Once, I thought I saw an Aspen tree and got really excited, but as we got closer it turned out to be another Spruce tree. Major foliage blueball.
There were a lot of highlights of the trip, which I'm going to write about in a more serious manner for my troop's Web site. I won't bore you with them here. Instead, I'll conclude with some O'Toolian jokes that came up on the trail.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Don't put used (fire)wood in the bush.
I wouldn't eat (the berries) on that bush.
Dude, you need to work on your J-Stroke.
Extend your pole, damn it.
Watch it! You almost hit me in the chin with your (hook and) rod!
Let me see your rod.
Ahhhh it's good to be home.
-BC
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 9:38 AM
1 Comments:
THE KANSAN HOT LIST:
Cold: Using 'fuck' as an adjective, adverb, noun and verb.
Warm: Using 'Vaupelocity' as an adjective, adverb, noun and verb.
Hot: Using 'O'Toole' as an adjective, adverb, noun and verb.
Using all three in the same sentence: Just wrong.
Bill: "O'Toole has definitely vaupelocitied its way into our vernacular"
— AKS
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