Gems of the day

I've been a little gone here, and I attribute that to an extended weekend that can only be described as a bender, which included two trip to Atlantic City (one for beaches/drinking, one for gambling, naturally). My coworkers with whom I went think it's a miracle that I'm even alive (that has more to do with the 2 am ocean dive than the drinking). I maintain that I didn't have more than 4 Manhattans (before the lager) on Saturday night, a fellow intern contests it had to be 6 to 8 ... Keeping the spirit of journalism alive, people!

And now for the gems...

"The 24-hour extended-release medication was approved by the FDA in September for people in chronic pain who were already using morphine-based painkillers.

The agency said the withdrawal was triggered by a company study that showed potentially serious or even fatal consequences if a person abusing the drug also drank alcohol."

They're using pain medication, on top of morphine painkillers, and drinking alcohol ... FDA, I'm going to go and say they already want to die.

As seen in the earliest edition of the Inquirer, an R. Kelly review:

On his new album, TP.3 Reloaded (***), released Tuesday, the perennially priapic love man is offering his services. He'll be happy to go "In the Kitchen" and get you "on your tippy toes" over "by the buttered rolls." Then he plans to "toss your salad" and "Hit It Til the Mornin'."

A meek intern tried to warn them about the tossing of the salad, but the three old white dudes just thought it was part of the extended metaphor. After a 25-year-old associate editor saw it on the proof, she had to explain, in depth, to David Sullivan exactly what it meant to "toss your salad."

Then, in an email sent out by the same associate editor, in charge of finding pictures for A1's rail, she sent this to all her superiors, for a story about wildlife in the city:

"I need a beaver shot for A1."

Old white dudes were rolling over that one...

And in conclusion, in the words of a Brit: "Terrorists. What a bunch of cunts."