Midway is the devil
So I got to go home this weekend, but on the way back, Raymond, my "I love a great deal" dad, decided to trade my first-class, fresh-baked cookies on every flight Midwest ticket for a Southwest one. "Come on, Ashley, how bad can a one-hour layover be?" he said. Ha. The one-hour layover at Chicago's glorious, home of everything unsanitary Midway airport. Needless to say, we are not friends right now. So when I got home I realized a couple of things. First, I really liked being back. Not so much that I want to make it permanent, but it was definitely fun. Secondly, all of the people on Mass. Street during the evening of the 4th couldn't hold a candle to being stuck in Central Park during the annual Puerto Rico Day Parade two weeks ago. You've never truly seen spandex until you have seen the white lycra on these girls. "Everyone Loves a Latino girl" is a phrase that will live on, in all its bedazzled glory, in my memory for quite some time.
Because Paige can shamelessly self-promote her magazine, I will too. I did a little bit of writing. (It's nothing major, don't get excited) Nonetheless, I will have a byline in the September issue. For all those who refuse to spend money on a fashion magazine, I'll try to send a couple to the newsroom. Speaking of September, I'll be coming back at some point during that month and will make it a point to stop by the newsroom. Who knows, I might even bring treats ...
Life at the convent is improving, I managed to finangle an air conditioning unit and a television that gets three, yes three, broadcast channels. These channels usually carry the news, which I should really stop watching. The number of rapists in surrounding neighborhoods is getting to be more than I can count on one hand. Awesome. The fact that my work environment is drastically different that everyone else's has never been so clear: Our printers are named Gucci and Versace, you have better odds of finding an earring under the lid of the copy machine than an actual article and the people I work with look incredibly hungry. (Give Lindsay Lohan ten years and a five carat ring and you imagine what I'm dealing with here...) Oh, and our "required" reading every day? Page Six. I kid you not, after years of Western Civ and Samuel Colridge, I need to know if Demi's pregnant (looking probable) and who spent the holiday weekend in Vegas. (Quentin Tarantino and Shar Jackson) One last thing — AKS, you should make it happen. I will drive from Manhattan to see it. Think of what you could tell all of the old women... "No, I'm not married, I'm a stripper."
—Bechard
Because Paige can shamelessly self-promote her magazine, I will too. I did a little bit of writing. (It's nothing major, don't get excited) Nonetheless, I will have a byline in the September issue. For all those who refuse to spend money on a fashion magazine, I'll try to send a couple to the newsroom. Speaking of September, I'll be coming back at some point during that month and will make it a point to stop by the newsroom. Who knows, I might even bring treats ...
Life at the convent is improving, I managed to finangle an air conditioning unit and a television that gets three, yes three, broadcast channels. These channels usually carry the news, which I should really stop watching. The number of rapists in surrounding neighborhoods is getting to be more than I can count on one hand. Awesome. The fact that my work environment is drastically different that everyone else's has never been so clear: Our printers are named Gucci and Versace, you have better odds of finding an earring under the lid of the copy machine than an actual article and the people I work with look incredibly hungry. (Give Lindsay Lohan ten years and a five carat ring and you imagine what I'm dealing with here...) Oh, and our "required" reading every day? Page Six. I kid you not, after years of Western Civ and Samuel Colridge, I need to know if Demi's pregnant (looking probable) and who spent the holiday weekend in Vegas. (Quentin Tarantino and Shar Jackson) One last thing — AKS, you should make it happen. I will drive from Manhattan to see it. Think of what you could tell all of the old women... "No, I'm not married, I'm a stripper."
—Bechard
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 2:32 PM
3 Comments:
I'll be the first to say that no one needs to see me in that situation — especially returning soliders. "Good work, son. You served your country well. Enjoy an evening at Mustangs ... HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm sorry, son, the horrors of war could have never prepared you for that." — AKS
One question about your return visit: will there be puppy chow?
Nevermind. I better watch my figure for all the stripping I'm going to do in JC alongside AKS.
-Bill "anyone remember the Chris Farley Chippendales skit on SNL?" Cross
I'm calling one of those copies of InStyle right now. Actually, I'm still hoping for that free subscription someone hinted they might be able to hook me up with :) . . . So if you do get the chance to stop by in Sept., try to make it on a Tuesday or Thursday so that we can yell at Kealing and read US Weekly, you know, for old times sake.
Azita
Post a Comment
<< Home