The worst thing for a hangover....
I once thought the very worst thing for a hangover was teaching a tennis class to a bunch of rambunctious little kids, but I have found something that surpasses that by far... Going to take pictures at girl scout camp.
Not just any day at girl scout camp, mind you. Food fight day. It entails 14 buckets full of spaghetti, scrambled eggs, milk, water, a stray kidney bean or two, and anything else the kitchen can scrounge up from the week's leftovers. The girls then face off against each other in an open grass clearing and start throwing. (The smell, oh holy hell... the SMELL! I can't accurately describe it... even on a strong stomach a day later, I'm starting to feel nauseated thinking about it.)
After they get completely covered in disgustingness, two firemen bust out the hoses and spray them all down. In an effort to get closest to the hose, the shrieking girls swarm the slightly frightened looking firemen. (At one point I got trapped behind the captain. Any route of escape I might have had was blocked by the now drenched, food covered, screaming little girls.)
Sure there was the hearing loss and almost losing my lunch, but the main result of my adventure in the tall grass is that now I am covered in bug bites. Literally covered... 128 bites are spread out all over my legs. I think they are banding together as I speak in an effort to become one massive, body-encompassing bite.
Courtney
p.s. I was going to post a picture of the contents of the bucket, but I couldn't knowingly inflict that on anyone else. Consider yourselves spared - and lucky.
Not just any day at girl scout camp, mind you. Food fight day. It entails 14 buckets full of spaghetti, scrambled eggs, milk, water, a stray kidney bean or two, and anything else the kitchen can scrounge up from the week's leftovers. The girls then face off against each other in an open grass clearing and start throwing. (The smell, oh holy hell... the SMELL! I can't accurately describe it... even on a strong stomach a day later, I'm starting to feel nauseated thinking about it.)
After they get completely covered in disgustingness, two firemen bust out the hoses and spray them all down. In an effort to get closest to the hose, the shrieking girls swarm the slightly frightened looking firemen. (At one point I got trapped behind the captain. Any route of escape I might have had was blocked by the now drenched, food covered, screaming little girls.)
Sure there was the hearing loss and almost losing my lunch, but the main result of my adventure in the tall grass is that now I am covered in bug bites. Literally covered... 128 bites are spread out all over my legs. I think they are banding together as I speak in an effort to become one massive, body-encompassing bite.
Courtney
p.s. I was going to post a picture of the contents of the bucket, but I couldn't knowingly inflict that on anyone else. Consider yourselves spared - and lucky.
posted by The University Daily Kansan at 9:21 PM
9 Comments:
This one time, at girl scout camp, we had this counselor named Pat. Pat was a woman in her mid- to late-40s who had simple given up. One of the first things we learned at camp was that eggs gave Pat gas. The junior leaders would pass this bit of information around camp because it was some serious info like 'put your food in a metal bin so the bears won't tear your tent to shreds and eat you' kind of stuff. We were not to make any comments about errant odors the days we had eggs for breakfast because Pat might catch on that we knew, but we should know so we wouldn't make any random comments about the pollution. God I dreaded the days we had eggs for breakfast because when you grew up on a farm without any human contact besides your elderly grandparents and socially retarded dad and uncle, you don't have much tact as an 8-year-old. That's saying something too because camp was close to the Excel beef processing plant and days when wind blew from the west ... ooooooooooooeeeeeeee! Believe me, I woulda been catapulting yolks into that woman's piehole. Please mom I wanna go/Back where the toilets flow/Please mom I wanna go ho-o-ome! — AKS
Just as an update to the story... I discovered from the doctor this afternoon that I didn't just get the ridiculous number of bug bites. I had a massive allergic reaction and all 128 of them are severely infected. When he saw them he kind of took a shocked/disgusted step backward and ended up having to consult his reference book, because as he said, "It's not like anything I've ever seen."
Thank you very much girl scout camp.
Courtney
Courtney -
It's an amazing coincidence that your number of bug bites is also a power of two! The seventh power of two, to be exact.
-Bill "math boner" Cross
Jesus, Jousers, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. — AKS
So you counted each individual bug bite? That would take a while. Or 3 minutes. Whichever. I'm so in awe of Bill's "math boner" I can't think straight.
JR
Hi, I'm Bill and I'm a nerd.
Courtney, you may notice that your two worst things for a hangover have a similiar recipe. Children. See, you avoid children, you avoid pain. Words to live by, my friends.
NJS
Once when I was at scout camp, we all ate in a big mess hall, and they had ketchup bottles on all the tables, and they didn't refrigerate the ketchup containers, and the ketchup spoiled, and people ate it not knowing that, and later that night, everyone in camp...no, I won't tell you what happened next. Too disgusting.
Dude, the shits at scout camp is the worst. Those paved holes in the ground are only accomodating for so long.
-Bill "doesn't know who posted the scout came 'rrhea story" Cross
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