Whatcho gonna do with all that junk -- all that junk inside that trunk?

Well?

Happy Festivus!

I got an iPod nano.

What did YOU get?

-BC

poop

Back in the saddle again

Hey Y'all! After more than two months, I wrote my first article Wednesday. It was a sad event, so no real joy in attending, but it's nice to write again. We are a weekly and we're on hiatus so the story won't print in our paper until Jan. 6. Since the Public Affairs people sent it out as a press release, it may appear in other papers before ours.

On an egotistical journalist's note, they left 'Kim' out of my byline, even though I typed it. Just another sign of the man trying to keep a sister down.

On a nerdy journalism note, two people (Ehren Meditz and a non-journalist friend) asked the reasoning behind capitalizing 'Soldier.' You want a reason? It's in the style guide.

On an uninteresting, I'm crazy note, today I put on a helmet, kevlar vest, water pack and equipment vest on top of my nice slacks and girly heels and paraded around the office. It was quite spectacular. My boss said, "You should've joined the Army, Amanda. You looked good in that stuff." I ran around the office in circles in the get-up to see how hard it was. I will go out to the training field with equally-camoed Soldier boys in this outfit (minus the heels and slacks) to cover stories, so I needed the practice.

Yee haw,
AKS

It's San Fran-tastic!

So I'm up late watching "Mr. Show" on TBS and they're doing a sketch about taking a trip to San Francisco. However, it's "New San Francisco," free of angry lesbians, hippies and Chinese. The "dad" can't believe he's in San Francisco because it's so clean.

It just reminds me of our trips through the Porn-Piss-And Hobo District and how AKS and I found much of the city to be quite dirty.

Ahh, the memories.

Ashley Doyle, just for you

In response to AD's query, I am still alive and (somewhat) managing in the city. There is, however, something I need to get off my chest. WTF AKS? I might only make $6/hr before taxes, but I still deserve to be on the list. What is this? Do you need special clearance to make the cut? I've been an intern WAY TOO LONG now, but getting an actual job in magazine is a somewhat elusive, slippery creature. I interviewed yesterday at Cosmo, but am a little worried about potentially working at a publication that can use the word "penis" 16 times in four pages. I can just picture my "love to be Catholic" parents perusing the magazine for my byline. Yeah, exactly. Am interviewing tomorrow at a beauty P.R. firm, but feel slightly hypocritical about it; I always lived by the mantra that P.R. girls weren't smart enough to actually work in editorial. Apparently $55,000 isn't enough for our subway conductors—the entire Metro Transit Association has until midnight to settle otherwise they're going on strike. Needless to say, getting to my interview and to the airport is going to be a bit of a struggle with no subway or bus access. Yes, I am coming home tomorrow night. I'll be there from the 16-26 and spending most of the time in Lawrence. If you're around please give me a call, keeping in mind that my car was sold and I am now at the mercy of my parents. Happy holidays everyone! —Bechard

K-A-R-M-A!

Holy crap, the recent blog activity is dizzying. I actually got to start my new job today although I technically didn't do anything that has to do with journalism (shut up, Meditz). I spent the morning learning how to be a government employee and filling out a mountain of paperwork. I have never signed and dated so many documents. I think that was my soul I was signing away. Anyway, it was worth it because I now have a Department of Defense decal that gets me onto any military base. I am drunk with power! I have to wait until Monday to get my military i.d. As requested by Meditz, I will not write anything that is going to be sold to Iraqi papers.

This has been a good couple of days and things are starting to look up. I'll be making more money than I originally thought (which is quite a bit more than at that other paper); my future co-workers and bosses have expressed genuine excitment and appreciation about working with me (something that definitely didn't happen at that other paper); I bought black boots and they are totally hot; and the current boy situation is ideal. Maybe some sweet, sweet karma is starting to come around.

Call me if you wanna scope out military-base hotties,
AKS

Craziness

Oh, so we are all finally writing posts again...I see how it is.

AKS - Congrats on wasting the tax dollars. You have to go to KSU, so I think you deserve too.
Austin - Congrats on the ESPN internship/job thing. That sounds so awesome.
Bill - Where have to random "poop" IMs gone?
Donovan - I love the design blog. I read it while I'm at work and promise I will post soon.
Jon - Kansan/KU no more - good job. You are outtie.
Jonathon - Good luck next semester.
Neeley - Yea for the job! (That's a lot of DUIs)
Neil - I so can't picture you driving a truck. I'll keep trying.
New York residents - Where are the updates? Are you all dead? What's going on? In case you are ignoring me that's you Bechard, Marissa and Vaupel.
Paige - Ummm...see you Sunday...DH better be on or there will be hell to pay.

Ashley Doyle

Moving in on Neil's territory

Apparently if your name somehow incorporates "neil/neel," the southwest is the place for you. I decided to come out of my slump and give the readers what they want. Or at least something to do for 5 min. at work. Anyway, this is Neeley, and I am finally employed. I have been at the Albuquerque Journal for a week now (copy editing...as if I'd do anything else). And there are two Neils on the copy desk here. But anyway. The SW has been an adjustment, but I'm sure eventually my skin will just evolve into scales. Here's a few fun-filled facts about my new state:

-There are no professional teams at all, but there is a minor league baseball team: the Albuquerque Isotopes. And of course, next year Mr. Giddens will be playing for the UNM Lobos.
-The first copy desk meeting I went to centered around the debate of whether we'd rather have a humidifier around the copy desk or mouse traps under our individual desks. One copy editor who supplied his own trap has already caught eight. But at least they're hygenic mice — another copy editor had a tube of toothpaste eaten.
-Highest rate of drunk drivers? That's right, we've got it. Last weekend, in a PUBLICIZED campaign to curb drunk driving during the holidays, police set up checkpoints in the county. And yet, still 104 DWI arrests. 104!?! And tonight I edited an article about a man arrested for his 15th DWI.
-And if the drunks or aliens don't kill you, don't worry, we've got nukes, too. At estimated 685 nuclear warheads and 1,825 nuclear bombs at a nearby air base.

So yeah...my door is always open to visitors. But hey...at least I have whiskey. (Enjoyed safely, in my home. Alone.)

Neeley

P.S. Does anyone want to sell or know anyone who wants to sell basketball tickets for any games during Winter Break?

Blending in with the locals

Last week I bought a truck: A 1999 Chevy S-10 for $7,900. I was proud of myself because I thought I was blending in with the truck-loving locals. However, when I mentioned to one of co-workers that I bought an S-10, she promptly pointed out that it's built on a car chassis and she that would be willing to pull my truck out a jam with her Dodge Ram V-8 if I took it into the Gila Mountains.

Sadly, my 1997 Ford Escort station wagon died. It blew two pistons. Sold it for $200.

Enjoy the snow,

Neil

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Today was supposed to be my first day of work as a bonafide United States Government employee, but my paperwork and security clearance has not yet been processed so I was sent home. I was sitting on the sofa in my future office area when an irate personnel woman called the office and bitched a future co-worker out. I was not to do any work or sit down at any government computer because my clearance was not approved yet. The co-worker said I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing, and the woman on the phone snarled, "Ah, U.S. tax dollars at work!" So you can thank me for wasting 45.68 minutes-worth of your tax dollars today. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Mmm, democracy, drink it in. It always goes down smooth.

Paige and AKS agree: Where art thou posts?

Roger, AKS

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you

Tomorrow is my first day of work at my new job. After two months of bitching, I begin work at a U.S. Government employee at 8 a.m. with in-processing. This is where I have to spend the day learning about how to be a government employee or something like that. Maybe I'll have to pee in a cup, who knows. I also have to participate in a telephone hearing with my old employers and a judge with the state's Department of Labor. The state denied my unemployment benefits and I appealed. My ol' pals are fighting the appeal so now we have to talk to a judge about it. So far this getting a government job process has been highly inefficient. I am probably not supposed to say a whole lot about it, but I filled out a shit-ton of paperwork to get national security clearance. So if any of you get calls about me, you'll know what's up. I want to make entertaining jokes about the content of this paperwork, but then the government might revoke my clearance. Damn, they've already got me. Save the speeches, Vockrodt. Anyway, I just moved into a new place with a new roommate and I don't have Internet access yet, so I'm pretty much cut off from everyone. Except for Bill. He still finds the time to send AIM texts to my phone (at my own expense). 12/02/2005: "you suck poop from your own butt." Thanks, Bill. Despite that douche's unexplained texting, things are starting to look up (hopefully) (And fuck all of you overzealous copy editors who judge my use of 'hope.' I'll use 'hope' if I damn well please, you fuckers.). I HOPE everyone is doing well. Merry Christmas, and all that shit. Broke, but still boozin' -- AKS

I'm such a nerd ...

a design nerd that is!

Yes, I now have a blog about newspaper design that I'm testing for the Northwestern. You can read it at designupfront.blogspot.com. I'll just be writing about newspaper design topics and the like. So all you designer types (Neil, Ashley, Amber, etc.), feel free to comment and give me suggestions for topics. All you nondesigner types, you can also comment and give me suggestions for topics.

Need a job?

Attention reporting kids:
The Sun is unofficially seeking (two people moved on, job openings aren't posted yet) two reporters. If you want to escape the snow, Arizona is the place to be. If you wanna get the lowdown on life in Yuma and The Sun, e-mail me at neilmulka@yahoo.com. If you can speak Spanish, well, you pretty much got the job. More details soonish.

Neil

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

To all you kids still in school, happy last night of production. You made it through another semester!
To everyone else ... it's snowing and shitty out. I took a snow/sick day from work because I have one fabulous case of bronchitis, laced with a sinus infection. Yum.
Just wanted to say hello because you've all dropped off the face of the Earth, it would seem. Neil sent me a Facebook message the other day about the worst lede he'd everrrrr seen, and it was pretty bad: "Old buildings have history."
Nice.
Anyway, back at my full-timer, the design editor was fired today and our best photographer got canned last month. Who's next? Ah, hiring freezes and budget cutting. Happy holidays, right?
Any and all are still welcome to come check out my palatial apartment in the City Market. It's lonely without you! I keep meaning to have a party, but I suck at being social on a large scale. For the most part I just end up drinking a bottle and a half of wine and spending the rest of the night puking in a corner.
And with that, I come full circle back to LNOP. Be safe in the snow and don't forget to write. Miss you all, no joke. Especially Donovan, because I still feel really bad for believing that dork when he said Lloyd was you. Bah.
I did it for you, and I'd do it again, man. — PP

So ... What's new?

We've all been pretty quiet for a while. But that's to be expected. Holidays, getting into the routine of new jobs, finals. Ah, how I don't miss finals.

Anyway, for those of you interested in newspaper design, I will be starting a newspaper design blog for The Northwestern.

I'll let you know more after I work out the details.